- Feeling that others are picking on you or are trying to cause you harm.
- Having a feeling that people or things are "unreal" or experiencing episodes of feeling "zoned out" or "numb."
- Feeling emotionally dead inside. Video
CHARACTERISTICS OF BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
(ACCORDING TO DSM-IV) Updated 3-6-14
"They (Borderlines) have the thinnest skin, the shortest fuses and take the hardest knocks. In psychiatrists’ offices, they have long been viewed as among the most challenging patients to treat." Shari Roan
"We are not responsible for how we came to be
who we are as adults. But as adults we are responsible for whom
we have become and for everything we say and do."
Jerold Kriesman and Hal Straus refer to borderline personality disorder as 'emotional hemophilia; [a borderline] lacks the clotting mechanism needed to moderate his spurts of feeling. Stimulate a passion, and the borderline emotionally bleeds to death.'
Long-Term Borderline (8-15-12)
Co-dependency & BPD (4-11-12) long article, but it is the best I've seen on the topic
Erotic Transference (2-3-12)
Emotional Anaphylactic Shock (7-20-11)
History of BPD (6-9-11)
Cheat Sheet: BPD for Dummies
Story about a relationship with a Borderline female
Affect, Cognition, Impulse, Interpersonal
What is Impulsivity?
Rejection & Hostility (2-2-13)
Suicide Why Suicide? Severe Suicide Warnings: 3-6-14
A Borderline's Sudden Suicide (7-4-11)
DBT Treatment Reduces Suicide Rates 3-17-13
THE ABOVE INFORMATION EXPLAINED IN MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY
Impulse action patterns
Doesn't sound good, does it?
Are you someone who tends to take action without thinking through the consequences? Do hasty decisions often get you into trouble? Do you often act based on your feelings in the moment rather than on a long-term plan? You may be struggling with impulsive behavior, one of the symptoms of BPD.
Impulsivity can be a very troubling aspect of BPD. Impulsive behavior can lead to problems with relationships, physical health, and finances, as well as legal issues. Learning more about impulsive behavior and treatments that target it can help reduce the impact of impulsivity in your life.
What is Impulsivity?
Impulsivity is a tendency to act quickly without thinking about the consequences of your actions. Impulsive behavior usually occurs in reaction to some event that has caused you to have some kind of emotional response.
For example, imagine you are waiting in line at the bank and someone cuts in front of you. If you were to act on an impulse, you might immediately behave aggressively toward that person (e.g., yelling, or even becoming violent), without thinking about the consequence of this kind of behavior (e.g., being escorted out of the bank or even arrested).
It is important to note that occasional impulsive behavior is not necessarily indicative of a diagnosis of BPD. Everyone acts impulsively from time to time. Only when this type of behavior becomes either frequent or serious (e.g., dangerous), is it considered problematic.
What are Some Examples of Impulsive Behaviors?
Some examples of impulsive behaviors include:
Can Impulsivity Be Treated?
Yes. Many treatments for BPD have components that target impulsivity. For example, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) focuses on building skills that will help you to reduce your impulsive behaviors.
Mindfulness, which is a skill taught in DBT, can help you to stay more aware of your actions so that you can take time to consider consequences. Mindfulness can help you to make healthier decisions about how to respond to events around you.
Medications may also help with impulsivity, but are probably most effective when used in conjunction with psychotherapy.
HISTORY OF BPD
The symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder have been noted and recorded from the earliest times. The presence of impulsive anger, melancholy, and mania has been described from as far back as 800 c.e. Following the suppression of the concept during the Middle Ages (due in part to the conflict it created with ecclesiastical teachings), more serious acknowledgement of its existence begins in the mid-17th century. By the late 1930s, the first clinical analysis of the disorder appears, however lack of specific definitions and terminology hindered studies as the term “borderline” became a catchall term applied to a number of conditions.
By the late 1970s, efforts were made to create a
standardized model of BPD, and by 1980 it was recognized
as a personality disorder in the DSM-III, with the
current terminology established by the APA.
AFFECTIVE MOOD INSTABILITY
The two hallmark psychobiologic vulnerabilities or temperamental predispositions are affective instability and impulse aggression. The individual with BPD is exquisitely affectively sensitive to environmental shifts, particularly in their interpersonal sphere, so that they react with feelings of, for example, rage and despair and separation, humiliation and fury at a setback at work, etc.
It is likely that this highly sensitive affective thermostat is present from a very early age and may apparently have genetic as well as early environmental antecedents. This affective sensitivity during the course of early development may prove a challenge to the successful mastery of the developmental tasks of childhood and adolescence. For example, an infant who is very sensitive to separation or bodily pain may cry more frequently and be more difficult to soothe when mother or other caretaker leaves, the baby may cry loudly and persistently.
For a depressed or affectively sensitive parent, such a child
can present a particularly formidable challenge. As the
child grows older, these crying spells may turn into
temper tantrums. For even the most empathic parent,
there may be a temptation to respond to these tantrums
with either excessive indulgence or at other times
inattention of neglect. For the child, these
inconsistent responses may constitute a sort of
"intermittent reinforcement" making their temper
tantrums more likely. The temper tantrums may be the
antecedents to affective storms that we may see in the
borderline patient during adulthood when threatened with
a potential loss of a relationship or feelings of
Larry J. Siever, M.D.
"There are sudden and dramatic shifts in self-image, characterized by shifting goals, values and vocational aspirations. There may be sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values and types of friends. These individuals may suddenly change from the role of a needy supplicant for help to a righteous avenger of past mistreatment. Although they usually have a self-image that is based on being bad or evil, individuals with borderline personality disorder may at times have feelings that they do not exist at all. Such experiences usually occur in situations in which the individual feels a lack of a meaningful relationship, nurturing and support. These individuals may show worse performance in unstructured work or school situations.
There are sudden and dramatic shifts in self-image, characterized by shifting goals, values and vocational aspirations. There may be sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values and types of friends. These individuals may suddenly change from the role of a needy supplicant for help to a righteous avenger of past mistreatment. Although they usually have a self-image that is based on being bad or evil, individuals with borderline personality disorder may at times have feelings that they do not exist at all. Such experiences usually occur in situations in which the individual feels a lack of a meaningful relationship, nurturing and support. These individuals may show worse performance in unstructured work or school situations.Top
UNSTABLE & INTENSE RELATIONSHIPS
"People with borderline personality disorder may idealize potential caregivers or lovers at the first or second meeting, demand to spend a lot of time together, and share the most intimate details early in a relationship. However, they may switch quickly from idealizing other people to devaluing them, feeling that the other person does not care enough, does not give enough, is not “there” enough. These individuals can empathize with and nurture other people, but only with the expectation that the other person will “be there” in return to meet their own needs on demand. These individuals are prone to sudden and dramatic shifts in their view of others, who may alternately be seen as beneficient supports or as cruelly punitive. Such shifts other reflect disillusionment with a caregiver whose nurturing qualities had been idealized or whose rejection or abandonment is expected."Top
What is Borderline Anger and How is it Treated?
Intense, inappropriate anger is one of the most troubling symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). It is so intense that it is often referred to as “borderline rage.” While anger is a key feature of BPD, very little is known about why people with BPD experience anger differently than other people or even how this experience is different. New research, however, is shedding light on the nature of borderline rage.
What is Borderline Anger?
Borderline anger is more than just a standard emotional reaction. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV), anger in BPD is described as “inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).”
Clinically, anger in BPD is called “inappropriate,” because the level of anger seems to be more intense than is warranted by the situation or event that triggered it. For example, a person with BPD may react to an event that may seem small or unimportant to someone else (e.g., a misunderstanding) with very strong feelings of anger and unhealthy expressions of anger (e.g., yelling, being sarcastic or becoming physically violent).
Research on Borderline Anger
While borderline anger has long been a topic of debate and speculation among BPD specialists, it has only recently become a topic of careful research. Researchers are now examining how borderline anger is different than normal anger and why it occurs. For example, researchers are now trying to understand whether it is that people with BPD are more easily angered, have more intense anger responses or have more prolonged anger responses than people without BPD (or whether it is some combination of these factors).
For example, a recent study examined anger in people with BPD compared to people without BPD (healthy controls) in response to an anger-producing story. This study found that people with BPD reported the same level of anger as the healthy controls in response to the story, but that the healthy controls reported that their anger decreased more quickly over time than the people with BPD reported. So it may not be that people with BPD have a stronger anger reaction, but that their anger has a much longer duration than other people experience.
Research in this area is very preliminary, and much more work is needed to fully understand how and why people with BPD experience borderline anger.
How Is Borderline Anger Treated?
PERSPECTIVE BEYOND TIME & SPACE by
Dr. Judith Orloff
SUICIDE AND SUICIDAL IDEATIONS Why? (6-4-10)
from website bpdinsideout.com by AJ Mahari
Suicide: Have you attempted suicide? Why or why not? Do you have suicidal ideations? Often, or once in awhile? Under what circumstances in your life do you find that you get suicidal/or ideations?
Once I was as close as one can get to suicide without actually doing it, and I went to the hospital instead tho I don't really know why. I often have suicidal ideations. When something significant goes wrong, I think that I just don't want to live thru the pain, and that the rest of my life will be just periods of pain and no happiness, so I should die now to avoid it. This is always caused by feelings of loneliness or abandonment or having no hope for the future or that I'll never change who I am and that I am worthless. anon.
When I was in my late 20's and 30's, I half heartedly attempted suicide. I wanted to die at the moment but didn't have the courage to do it. I think I wanted someone to stop and stop my pain in some other way...*I* didn't know how but figured the one someone who loved me would. And if they didn't care enough to stop it, then I might as well be dead anyway. I haven't felt like actually killing myself for many years and know I wouldn't again. However, I have felt that *somehow* I wish I were dead if I lost my rock (my husband). I couldn't imagine life without him and wouldn't know what to do. Either if he left me, or if he died. That throws me into a panic. Otherwise I can handle anything else.
Not suicidal. No suicidal ideations. I don't know why I escaped this. V.
Yes I have. It's not anything I'm proud of. I did because I wanted to leave. I wanted to get close to God, who is in heaven. I wanted to be with my Dad, who died 16 years ago. I wanted because I couldn't stand to be in such a big pain. My sorrow of life was overwhelming. I was not good enough for my kids (what I thought). I was not worth to be alive. I didn't know the meaning of life. I still don't. Noone liked me, I thought. I was just so depressed... There was no meaning... I rather leave myself than be left by anyone else... This is so much pain in this... I can't even describe it good enough... I didn't think things could ever get better. There was just darkness without any light at all... What's the point to stay alive then?
I still have sucidial ideations and it's hurting bad. Not as strong as before nor as often as before. But right now I'm having a rough time to talk myself into not doing such a thing again. I think I have these thoughts of suicide because I'm very tired. I haven't slept well for a while. Always when I haven't I get worse, and when I am to have my period, too. And when my therapist is gone for vacation, and when she is about to come back... When I feel loneley... When I'm very sad and can't get any rest... When I feel confused and double about things... When I get too much pressure on myself... When I don't get enough space for just me and my thoughts... When I feel unsecure about what's happening around me and my family... When I think all of the bad things that happen all over the world and in my own family... Oh, this is already getting too much....... Y.E.
The first time I tried to commit
suicide was when I was age 10 because I was terrified of
being punished by my abusive parent and felt hopeless
about my life ever changing. Feelings of hopelessness
drove me to attempt suicide twice more when I was in my
twenties. Now I simply hold the idea of it as a last
resort and not something that I am likely to do.
Unlike other forms of self-injury, suicidal self-injury has special
meaning, particularly in the context of borderline
personality disorder. How is suicidal self-injury
differentiated from non-suicidal self-injury in these
patients, and how can their behavior be properly
assessed and treated?
Under "Diagnostic Features," the DSM-IV says "The perception of impending separation or rejection, or the loss of external structure, can lead to profound changes in self-image, affect, cognition, and behavior. These individuals are very sensitive to environmental circumstances. They experience intense abandonment fears and inappropriate anger even when faced with a realistic time-limited separation or when there are unavoidable changes in plans (e.g., sudden despair in reaction to a clinician's announcing the end of the hour; panic or fury when someone important to them is just a few minutes late or must cancel an appointment). they may believe that this "abandonment" implies they are "bad." These abandonment fears are related to an intolerance of being alone and a need to have other people with them. Their frantic efforts to avoid abandonment may include impulsive actions such as self-mutilating or suicidal behaviors."
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of website owner
Another curious and interesting trait is boredom. This is not a destructive as the other traits. As a matter of fact...it can be kinda productive, yet of an obsessive-compulsive manner. It is a frequently observed trait that Borderlines are always seeking something to complete. They seek "projects" and work diligently to complete a task with diligence and sometimes perfectionism. What often results can be brilliant works of art, research findings or similar accomplishments. All can provide an instant gratification of personal success--but this can be short-lived; often searching for another "project" takes over the BPD's forethoughts.
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How to Spot a Girl with Borderline
Is the girl you're dating very seductive, explosive, charming, warm, wild, ecstatic, fantasy-fulfilling and emotionally vulnerable? Does she think you have such a sweet, sexy voice?
She thinks you're the funniest guy on the planet. And you think she is so brilliant. She is absolutely without any hang ups. She enjoys just being with you. She ignores all the other men around her and fixes her gaze upon your eyes. She tells you all the stuff you want to hear. She has a remarkable talent to focus on your greatness. She has an amazing ability to mirror your attributes to appear like you. Thus, you feel an instant connection.
First phase: Her Intriguing Life Story
She engages you to her life story. The numerous stories of childhood betrayals in her life keep you intrigued. The drama in her life surpasses the TV soap operas. She starts her story as an abandoned child. She narrates how her mother was abusive. Sometimes, there is some kind of incest. Her mother left her with relatives who molested her. She also tells about a fascinating story about how her mother taught her to shoplift.
She continues her story to describe her father. He is someone she hardly knew. He was a heroin addict. He loses his temper quickly. He would indulge in alcohol and extra-marital affairs. He recalls her miserable life with him.
She remembers how her mother would sleep with different strangers. She describes them as drinking beer and smoking. In her fear, she would hide under her bed. Sometimes, she admits seeing things that a child shouldn't see.
You ask her if she was molested. She will tell you that she had no memory of certain periods in her life. Then, she suddenly has crocodile tears in her eyes which turned to unstoppable sobbing. She said that she cannot talk about it further. You tell yourself, "This poor girl doesn't deserve this life. This girl has never experienced love before. I will show her what love is. I will rescue her from her horrible life."
Second Phase: Idealization
In this phase of the relationship, she is very interested in your whereabouts. She likes to know the nitty-gritty details in your life. She adores your talents. She is interested in what you do. She puts you up on a high pedestal. You feel like a king around her. She tells you that you are everything she could possibly want in a man.
She worships you like you're the perfect guy. In her eyes, you could do no wrong. She would tie your shoe laces, fix your collar and offer to do errands. She would call you many times a day to make sure that you are alright, need anything or just praise you for being the most beautiful being in her life. She will even apologize unceasingly if it rained outside. Every inch of you matters to her. She even becomes involved in everything you like. You feel that for sure compatibility is not an issue.
Third Phase: Snares
This stage of the relationship consists of ongoing cooling off, breakups and reunions. Within the same day, she perceives you as one that could do no wrong. Her behavior shifts dramatically to the opposite. She puts words into your mouth. . Now, she assassinates your character. She spews profanities at you that you have to leave the scene especially if she does it in public places. Caught off guard, you feel resentful, angry and rejected.
The next day you feel relieved it's over. A few days after, you'll come to think of her and replay your fights. She is like a drug that you can't live without because you got used to her attentiveness and availability. You obsessively long for her return justifying what she did wrong. Then, one day she calls you about her financial, emotional and sexual predicaments. You can't resist because of suicide threats or attempts. You rescue her. She actually shows you cuts on her wrists and bruises on different parts of her body.
She felt abandoned by you, whether real or imagined. She gives you guilt about it. She wants you to idolize her or she feels unloved. Her emotions are intense. You feel important but confused. You feel overwhelming, yearning sensations to connect. Now, that she has lured you back in her life. She feels satisfied and she is pregnant.
You have second thoughts committing yourself to marriage but episodes of emotional turbulence occur so frequently. You think twice if not marrying her are causing all these turmoil. Maybe marrying her will end the nagging and pressure. Now, you feel trapped. You are in her snare.
Fourth Phase: Emotional Terrorism
In this phase, little Hitler's rules come out. Her favorite line is "I don't appreciate it when you make me wait, or when you make me do this." She can't tolerate when a pretty girl enters the room. She thinks you are definitely attracted to this girl. You exclaimed, "What girl?" She hates you for denying her truth. Then, from nowhere she shows rage and becomes hysterical.
She likes to give negative opinions on those around her. One day she might say, "Did you see how that cashier looked at me? What a bitch." She expects you to come to her defense or empathize with her. If not, she will most likely confront the girl and spew more swear words.
She likes to be the focus of your life. If anything takes you away from her such as school work, parents, friends, or job, she will torture you with negative comments about these. She sees your friends and families as threats so she talks down or belittles them. Her frequent statements are "I don't see why you have to spend time with them."
Her emotional outbursts become very frequent. She cuts or puts herself in dangerous situations to get your attention. She threatens suicide. She asks for more money. If she does not get her way, she throws things at you or physically hurt you. She challenges your manhood.
Fifth Phase: You're the Enemy and Revenge
You've had it. You cannot stand her ridicule, criticisms, rages and threats. You break away. She will seduce you back but with vengeance. She will have sex with your best friend or have an affair.
You feel like you brought this to her so you try to save her. Or, you worry about your child. But, she is now detached. If the new man is dependable and supportive, she is very prepared to leave you. You agonize on how easy it is for her to replace you.
But life doesn't end there. Negative propaganda starts within your family circle as she wants to feel justified for leaving you. She exaggerates on stories about you and intentionally lies. This is to show people that you are the villain. Her dexterity to twist facts elicits eager listeners to her woes. She is able to put sense in other people's doubts about you. Even if her statements are contradictory, she is often believed because of her acting skills. She will not hesitate to go into a smear campaign in front of an audience. Her false claims astound you for she has an amazing ability to remember in detail what people say or do and twist it for her purpose.
If you have a child with her, she will use the legal system to create real or imagined accusations. She will drain you financially. Your child is now her pawn to further control you. You are the enemy. You are the cause of her miserable life. You deserved to be punished for all the pain she feels.
Spotting the Borderline Personality Disorder Traits
Many girls with Borderline Personality Disorder have a problem with regulating their emotions. Is your new girl highly sensitive? Is she too intense? Does she shower you with too much compliments and admiration? Borderlines like to go into rebound relationships. How many relationship stories did she share with you?
Borderlines have compulsions that lead to addiction. It includes self-medication, alcohol abuse, overeating, self-mutilation, shopping sprees and sexual affairs. Did she mention any stories in her family about these compulsions or addictions?
Having highly developed logical skills, a Borderline appear very smart. She can have a stack of information at her disposable to convince you on a lot of different issues. A borderline is verbose and articulate. You are amazed at her photographic memory. They can have memories that never actually occurred. Sometimes, these memories may be intentional lies. In the long run, they believe that their lies are the truth.
In their world, there are no grey areas. Events and people are either perceived as "black or white". A borderline is jealous of your relationship with your children, mother, father, therapist, etc. It triggers abandonment emotions. They can put a wedge between you and your families and friends. She loves pitting her children, families, and friends against each other.
Dating is a risky game. There are red flags to take into serious consideration on your first few dates. Borderlines have intriguing life stories. They engaged you and then they skillfully find your weak spots. Then, she puts her trap. Once in her snare, you are controlled and manipulated. You will try harder to be on her good side. But, she will push you away by her constant cruel gestures and remarks.
Borderlines are near the border of psychosis. Their reality is twisted. Unfortunately, Borderlines require a psychiatric evaluation and treatment. A different approach to therapy like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is required. It will take a lot of courage to leave a Borderline. They will not make it easy for you to leave. They will blackmail you with your weaknesses.
Just as you thought everything is over, she will engage you or "hoover", a term derived from the vacuum cleaner to represent "sucking in". Her self-worth depends on feeling connected to you. Any disappointments occurring in her life, like current love affairs or job stresses, will make her impulsively call you.
not know her boundaries. She is very angry at you. She
will not hesitate to hurt you in the most inconceivable
and damaging ways. Sometimes, an escape plan and "no
contact" are the only safe options for you.