After being in Borderline
treatment for awhile - be it Dialectical-, Cognitive-,
Transference-, Schema-, behavior therapies, or any of the others
listed under "Treatments", and possibly being put
on a medication to help mood-swings, depression, angry outburst,
impulsivity - one may come to the point where they ask themselves
"is this all there is?" The answer is, "Life is what you make
Recovery can be a spiritual
process to people; I have passed on some reading that may
be of enjoyment to you and your recovering Borderline as time progresses.
This site is all
about sharing knowledge and experience of the professionals, and the
BPD clients, and Non-BPD's on this
disorder. Secondarily, a little break from all the technical
talk may be welcomed. Here is where I share wisdom
from "Unknown" and others; wonderful suggestions and
tidbits of wisdom have been gleaned from readers and websites and
real live people in
Living Your Truth
"The Road to Recovery is Lined with
Meditation Changes the Grey
Getting Started with Meditation
Meditations / Suggested Practices
(Includes becoming a more positive person)
Life Purpose Through Service
Articles to Read
by Dr. Judith Orloff
Books to Read
Tidbits of Wisdom
Affirmations to Live By
Healthy Relationship Tips
Ways to Calm Down
1,000 Marbles (a parable)
If We Were Just a Village
Instructions for Life
Rules for Being Human
20 Keys to a Happy Life
6 Steps to Quiet the Mind
Choose a Gentler
Christine Louise Hohlbaum
“The Road to
Recovery is Lined with Knowledge” by Amy
L. Allison © 3-24-2011
Fiction novelist Chuck Palahniuk once said, “People don’t want their
lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas.
Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned
up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.”
Thanks to a few nerving-hitting movies produced in recent decades
about the poor treatment of mentally-ill patients—a dark, murky
shadow of horror-evoking mental illness environments is stamped on
I think the cinema producers latched on to the fact that mental
illness produced the best macabre effects, and went with it for big
block-buster movies. Fear-producing: Most certainly. Human beings
fear that which they do not understand. The mind and how it works
is a mystery that is being unraveled. When the mind malfunctions,
very sick, strange, and sometimes horrific evil can result.
Here are a few of the thematic movies: “Sybil” (Multiple
Personality Disorder), “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” (various),
“Girl, Interrupted” (Borderline Personality Disorder), “Rain Man”
(Autism), “A Beautiful Mind” (Schizophrenia), “Play Misty for Me”
(Borderline Personality Disorder), and “Fatal Attraction”
(Borderline Personality Disorder) name a few that may be familiar to
us as movie-goers.
about “recovery” from broken bones, cancer, or any illness fills our
magazines and health journals. Recovery is a gradual healing of a
“disease” of the body, hopefully back to its original healthy
state. A mental illness usually requires medication, education,
accepting and dealing with the condition.
illness is complex, and methodologies are being formulated more and
more to operationally deal with the many forms of what can go wrong
in our brains. “Recovery” should be thought of more like ‘how to
effectively co-exist’ with our mental/emotional malady. It is
minimized, but not eradicated. However, management of the condition
can give us a better quality of life.
I say “us”
for a reason. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder
back in early 2004. I fit all of the criteria. There was no
question as to my fate if I let this go untreated. I couldn’t blame
my biological parents anymore. It was up to me to do something
to turn my life around. It was not enough that I was fourteen
years sober (at that time) from an addiction…there was still
something horribly wrong with my life, my relationships, and the
choices I made. I was scary and miserable. I was ashamed to
mention this to the “recovering community”. I thought I was doing
A psychiatrist saw the problem and told me to get into Dialectical
Behavioral Therapy (DBT), or I could very well become one of the 10%
of BPD’s who die while attempting suicide. I experienced
hospitalizations and years of therapy—but no professional had put it
all together. No one said, ‘you have got THIS (BPD), you need to do
THIS (DBT) to save yourself from more chaos, pain and even death.’
I went into treatment. I was under the guidance of a PhD. trained
under the Linehan DBT Model for the treatment of Borderline
Personality Disorder, (1993 University of Washington). I was in a
Skills Group, then a Process Group (for four years). The PhD.
retired last year. I got another therapist. I was with her for
seven months, then she switched jobs. I had to keep plugging away
and remain proactive in my “recovery” from this disorder. I got
another therapist. I attend addictions meetings. I am an annual
member of a recovery workshop of women.
One of the most important commitments to my dealing with this
mental illness is that I developed a website about BPD, for both
the patients and those people in their lives who may be
closely affected. Some of the topics covered in this website:
Addictions, the Amygdala, Books, Causes of BPD, Characteristics of
BPD, DBT-Therapists, DBT Skills, Dualp-Diagnoses, Anger, General
Information, Genetics, For the non-BPD's, Impulsivity, Marsha
Linehan PhD., Medications, Mentalization, Mindfulness, Oxytocin,
Professionals & BPD, Radical Acceptance, Recklessness, Recovery &
Addictions, Reducing Severity of BPD, Schema Therapy, Self-Injurious
Behavior, Statistics, Stigma of Mental Illness, Stress, Success of
Recovery, Suicide, Support Groups for BPD's, Technical Articles,
Treatment Centers, Videos, Living with BPD, Living in Recovery, and
For Lay-Persons and Professionals.
I am a female over age fifty. I have my own dark and convoluted
story to tell of how this disorder nearly destroyed my life. My
focus is to educate others, and to help lessen the damage of BPD.
I got my life back, but not without years of self-loathing and
Pass it forward. Plant a seed. Save a life.
I hope I have. I am the author of this website.
& Suggested Practices
to Become a More
Please view this
taken from dbtselfhelp.com
Guided Meditation by Deepak Chopra
Guided Meditation by Deepak Chopra
Top of Page
Gentler Pace By
Christine Louise Hohlbaum
In this crazy world of high tech and high anxiety it is
important to realize the power of slowing things down. Life does not
have to be a daily race against time. You can choose to live at a
When you engage in the power of slow, you can keep distractions and
haste at bay. Slow living does not mean you always crawl at a
turtle’s pace. It means finding your custom-made speed and creating
a more gratifying life as you pause to savor your experiences more
The first step is to develop a positive relationship with time and a
new attitude about how you use the hours in each day. Here are 21
tips for slowing down and enjoying life more.
1. Embrace Time Abundance
Like time starvation, time abundance is a
mind-set. Know that there is a reason for every season. Time
abundance states you have more than enough time to get everything
done that serves your ultimate purpose.
2. Create The Opening
Sometimes saying ‘no’ to one thing means
leaving room for ‘yes’ in other areas.
3. Relish The Space Between Things
‘Ma’ is a Japanese term for the space between
beats in music or theatrical performances. Give ‘ma’ a chance to
show itself in your calendar by creating room for some breezy
nothingness between appointments.
4. Disengage From Clock Combat
Put away your watch every now and then to
experience a timeless state of peace. Challenge yourself to go
clock-free for a day.
5. Invite Flow Into Your Life
Engage in activities that make you forget the
time altogether such as painting, dance or making music.
6. Eat Mindfully
You are what, and how, you eat. Take time
between bites and chew slowly. Make it a primary, not secondary
activity (while doing something else).
7. Use Your Tools
Let that call go to voicemail. Suspending your
availability now and then helps you regain your center.
8. Switch Off Your Cell Phone Altogether
It is an addition as much as a convenience.
Turn it off from time to time to recharge from the world. The Earth
will keep spinning as you refrain from doing so.
9. When A Window Closes, A Door Opens
Focus on one project at a time and close all
other unrelated windows on your computer. Distractions can tug at
your energy, leaving you feeling depleted.
10. Captain Your Own Ship
Make a choice to include time out to dock and
visit ports other than work, family responsibilities and
obligations. Make sure you have time for simple pleasures and joys.
11. Redefine the Value Of Leisure
For those who struggle with taking time off,
remember a productive worker is a well-rested one.
12. Rekindle Your Childhood Dreams
Kids are great role models for life beyond the
clock. Recall what you dreamt about as a kid and pursue some of
13. Adhere To The ‘Rule of Full’
Instead of taking a half-day off, take a full
one. Focus completely on relaxing activities such as a swing in the
hammock or a leisurely stroll through the park.
14. Take An Adult-Sized Time-Out
Challenge yourself to explore a new part of
your surroundings – gadget-free. Frequent unplugged fun fosters a
sense of connection with your living space.
15. Change Your Routine
Take a new route to work or order something
completely different from the menu. It will raise your awareness
about your immediate surroundings and create a new sense of place.
16. Spend Thirty Minutes Outdoors
Vitamin D deficiencies arise especially in the
winter months. Find ways to go outside daily for a breath of fresh
air and sunlight (yes, even through the clouds).
17. Surround Yourself With Beauty
Stimulate your senses with aromatherapy
candles, soothing music or a water fountain that splashes in the
18. Get Moving
Slowing down does not mean you stop. It means
becoming more mindful. Incorporate movement into your daily routine
by taking the stairs instead of the elevator. It will do you good,
body and soul.
19. Take Small Steps
We often procrastinate due to overwhelm. Break
bigger projects down into manageable, bite-sized chunks.
20. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
Life is in the details, but you needn’t be
overshadowed by them. Focus on what you can do to change things--not
on what you can’t. Enjoy the ride on the highway of life.
21. Savor Your Personal Bank Account Of
Ultimately, the choice is yours. How you spend
your daily units is up to you. Living powerfully is a decision you
get to make anew every day.
Top of Page
Live Positively By from the
dbtselfhelp.com website (Lisa Deitz)
Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I
will take notice of the many positive things this
day has to offer.
I am beautiful.
I like myself.
I like my body.
I can feel how beautiful I am.
I do not need to respond to my emotions with food.
Rather I am in control of my eating habits and eat
only when I am hungry.
I have the time to exercise and see and feel my body
has strength, poise and assurance.
I walk with determination and confidence.
I can see and feel that I am physically fit.
I hold my head high.
I am strong physically and mentally and emotionally.
It is easy for me to be in control of my body; both
with my eating and exercising habits.
I enjoy looking good and feeling healthy.
I live a healthy, positive lifestyle.
People like me and I like myself and I am happy.
I can see how much people like me and how much I
I am loved and supported by people who are important
I love and care about others and they know this
because I show it to them.
I am a loving and caring person.
I sometimes enjoy being with people and feel good
about my interactions.
I see myself as beautiful and intelligent and
confident and that is how others see me.
I have friends who care about me, and I care about
I feel great as I live with the confidence to be
myself and live by my own inner guidance and can
interrelate to those around me, without sacrificing
my own values, goals and purposeful direction.
I have a lot to be proud of.
Today I feel good.
I am happy.
I am glad to be alive
I am in control of my life.
I have personal power.
I am perfectly me.
I am the best I can be.
I am centered and well-balanced.
I have confidence and poise.
I live by my positive choices.
I accept myself for who I am and I like myself.
I know that I am not perfect and never will be, but
I like who I am.
I have perseverance.
I am intelligent.
I make wise choices to the best of my ability.
I enjoy the process of learning and becoming all
that I want to be.
I am able to express my emotions in a healthy,
I can do anything I want.
I have many options and always make the best
decisions I can.
I have stability in my life and in my self.
I am willing to take the risks necessary to being
happy and living the kind of life I have chosen for
I am moving in a positive direction towards my
I have everything I want.
All that I want and desire is within me to achieve.
I have limitless resources and I use those resources
There is enough time in the day to do all that I
want to do.
There is nothing I cannot do or be if I want to.
Today I will be calm and confident.
I am everything I want to be.
I am happy with what I do.
Everyday is better than the next.
My life has purpose
There is no one else I would rather be.
There is no place else I would rather be.
I am in control of my choices and I like them.
All that life has to offer me is wonderful and it is
my daily choice to enjoy that beauty.
There is abundance in the Universe and it is there
to help me and I can use it.
No matter what the events of the day, the Universe
is positive and will always be with me to help me
through my choices, and struggles and acts as my
inner guidance, direction and purpose and this is
something I can always count on.
Today is my day. There is no person, no thing, no
event or activity that can destroy this day for me.
I have the courage to accept the things I cannot
change, to make choices to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
There is no limit to what I can do today, to what I
can be, to the attitude I can possess.
Today is the first day of rest of my life and I will
take notice of the many positive things this day has
to Topics List
Top of Page
Healthy Relationship Tips:
(contributed by Anonymous)
Strengthen the relationship by allowing yourself to be vulnerable
2. Consciously work on renewing the relationship daily
3. Be open about life-changing views
Share your goals
5. Never take the other person for
6. Grow together and individually
Make the relationship unconditional
8. Focus on "we",
not on "me"
9. Share in the decision-making
Balance between holding the other person closely, and giving them
Top of Page
Started with Meditation
Ariane de Bonvoisin and Arjuna Ardagh
*(from Beliefnet website)
You can light candles, sit on a cushion, and follow specific
instructions on how to meditate, but the truth is that you already
know how. Meditative consciousness is no more than a shifted
relationship to yourself and reality; your everyday life is already
filled with many moments in which you connect with yourself in this
way. You simply need to recognize that you're naturally meditative,
and amplify that place inside you. Here are some basics to help you
Meditation is a word for returning to a
natural state of undisturbed, relaxed consciousness. Most of the
time our attention is glued to incessant thoughts about the past and
the future and we can get caught in a cycle of planning and
Everybody has ways they
switch off the worry of the mind and relax into the present moment.
This is meditation. The first step to integrating this meditative
awareness into your life is to acknowledge that you are already a
meditative person. Take a moment to consider how you already
There are many ways people find meditative consciousness in their
daily lives that don't involve sitting in silence on a meditation
cushion. Here are some of them:
•Taking a warm bath
•Resting after a workout
•Walking in nature
•Sitting quietly with a child
•Tuning into your body
There is no wrong way to access meditative awareness.
As you begin to make
meditation a bigger part of your life, it's important not to
overwhelm yourself with unrealistic expectations. Find ways to
detach from your thoughts and relax into your own natural presence
throughout the day.
And rather than attempting to stick to a lofty goal of say, an hour
of seated meditation a day, give yourself small doses of sinking
into your true essence (by sitting and breathing or any of the ways
listed on the previous slide) and take regular breaks. Remember to
be easy on yourself.
While you are already a
meditator, there are also exercises you can practice to help you
move past thoughts and into presence.
Practice 1: Pure Waiting
Whenever you can, sit and wait. There's no need to distract yourself
by filling the gap with random activity. At the gate at the airport
or waiting for the bus, rather than picking up a book, flipping
through a magazine, checking e-mail, or watching TV, just sit and
wait. Present... ready... available... No need to meditate or get
spiritual. Just wait, like a cat, or a bird on a tree. Become the
Practice 2: Breathe Totally
Notice how you are already
breathing in this moment... After watching the way you are breathing
for a couple of minutes, begin to bring some intention to your
breathing. With the in-breath, let the lower belly soften and
expand. When the lower belly feels full, feel the diaphragm expand
with the breath. Finally let the chest and lungs fill completely
Hold the in-breath for a
few moments, only as long as is comfortable, then let the air be
expelled fully from the lungs first from the chest, then the
diaphragm, and then the lower belly. Just when you think you're
done, give an extra little push, and you will find there is even
more air to be expelled. Hold on the out-breath for a few moments,
before you inhale again. Continue to breathe totally in this way for
Practice 3: Expand
In the midst of your busy
day, stop. Sit quietly with your eyes open. Look at any object
before you. Now take an in-breath and expand your vision to include
what is immediately to the left and to the right of that object.
With the out-breath, relax and settle into yourself.
Take another in-breath and
expand your vision even more to include everything that's before
you, in an arc of about ninety degrees. Breathe out and settle
further into yourself. Take another in-breath and include your
entire field of vision. Your attention is equally distributed
between what is in front of you and all of your peripheral vision.
Expand it even more to include things not just to the left and the
right, but even things over your shoulders. Expand beyond what your
eyes can see. With the out-breath, relax completely into being that
which sees all.
Remain like this, breathing softly, for several minutes. Feel the
mystery of your own essence.
Practice 4: Standing in
Line at the Bank
Waiting in line for the
next teller at the bank, at a fast foot restaurant, or at the gate
at the airport, sink yourself completely into this moment.
Feel your feet planted on
the ground. Put your heels about shoulder width apart, turn your
feet slightly inwards with your weight equally on both feet. Knees
relaxed, not locked. Open your chest. Breathe and listen to all the
sounds around you. Take everything in. Feel the whole environment
through your skin. Become sensitive to the atmosphere of the place.
Breathe a little deeper and notice the smells.
Expand your vision so that you become aware of everything around
you. Relax. Finally, feel even deeper than all of this into your own
presence, into that which is hearing and feeling and seeing. Let
that presence expand and permeate everything around you. Expand and
become the living blessing.
Now that you have touched
your natural, inner meditator, here's how to take your practice
•Seek an expert in meditation and see his or her teachings resonate
•Accept what feels natural about your practice and discard the rest.
•Become part of a community by finding others who enjoy meditation.
•Find a greater variety of ways to be meditative.
•Expand the length of time you practice each day.
More and more people are recognizing that humanity is headed toward
awakened consciousness and that the complicated problems of life are
solved not only on the outside, but also from igniting a new
awareness within yourself. Becoming more meditative is a way of
stepping into a new state of perception with which to face your
"You cannot solve any problem in the same state of
consciousness in which it was created." - Albert Einstein
You don't have to begin
can help with expert advice, community support and invaluable tips.
Ways to Calm Down
1. Walk Away
Know your triggers. If a
conversation about global
consumerism, or the trash crisis in the U.S.
is overwhelming you, simply excuse yourself.
If you're noise-sensitive and the scene at
Toys-R-Us makes you want to throw whistling
Elmo and his buddies across the store, tell
your kids you need a time-out. (Bring along
your husband or a friend so you can leave
them safely, if need be.)
2. Close Your Eyes
Gently let the world
disappear, and go
within to regain
Ever since my mom
came down with
neurological tick of
the eyelid), I've
become aware of how
our eyes is to the
health of the
3. Find Some
This can be
challenging if you
are at work, or at
home with kids as
energetic as mine.
But we all need some
private time to let
the nervous system
I must have known
this back in
college, because I
opted for a tiny
single room (a nun's
than going in on a
larger room with a
closet big enough to
store my sweaters.
When three of my
good friends begged
me to go in with
them on a killer
quad, I told them,
"Nope. Can't do it.
Need my alone time,
or else none of you
would want to be
around me. Trust
My senior year I
went to the extent
of pasting black
on the window above
my door so no one
would know if I was
there, in order to
get the hours of
solitude that I
4. Go Outside
This is a true
lifesaver for me. I
need to be outside
for at least an hour
every day to get my
sanity fix. Granted,
I'm extremely lucky
to be able to do so
as a stay-at-home
mom. But I think I
would somehow work
it into my schedule
even if I had to
commute into the
city every day.
Even if I'm not
walking or running
or biking or
outside calms me in
a way that hardly
anything else can.
With an hour of
nature, I go from
being a bossy,
person into a bossy,
person. And that
makes the difference
friends and a
husband to have
dinner with and a
world that tells me
to go eat a frozen
dinner by myself
because they don't
want to catch
whatever grumpy bug
5. Find Some Water
other day with my
(yes, I do get some
of my best insights
from cartoons), I
observed the sheer
joy the main
character shows upon
paddling down the
river, singing about
how she is one with
the water. It
reminded me of how
universal the mood
effects of water
are, and how
6. Breathe Deeply
Breathing is the
sanity, because it
is the way we
provide our brain
and every other
vital organ in our
body with the oxygen
needed for us to
toxins from our
7. Listen to Music
Across the ages,
music has been used
to soothe and relax.
During the worst
months of my
depression, I blared
the soundtrack of
"The Phantom of the
to be the phantom
with a cape and a
mask, I twirled
around our living
room, swinging my
kids in my arms. I
belted out every
word of "The Music
of the Night."
music shall caress
you, Feel it, hear
it, secretly possess
song--like all good
that tender place
within me that words
couldn't get to.
Top of Page
A Thousand Marbles
The older I get, the more I enjoy
Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with
being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not
having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a
Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling
toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the
morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday
morning, turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand
you from time to time. Let me tell you about it. I turned the
dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order
to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came
across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a
golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in
the broadcasting business. He was telling whoever he was talking
with something about "a thousand marbles."
I was intrigued
and stopped to listen to what he had to say. "Well, Tom, it sure
sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well
but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so
much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or
seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your
daughter's dance recital."
He continued, "Let me tell you
something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective
on my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his
theory of a "thousand marbles." "You see, I sat down one day and
did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about
seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but
on average, folks live about seventy-five years." "Now then, I
multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900 which is the number
of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime.
Now stick with me Tom, I'm getting to the important part."
"It took me until I was fifty-five
years old to think about all this in any detail," he went on, "and
by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred
Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I
only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy." "So I went
to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up
having to visit three toy stores to roundup 1000 marbles. I took
them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container
right here in the shack next to my gear. Every Saturday since then,
I have taken one marble out and thrown it away."
"I found that by watching the marbles
diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.
There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out
to help get your priorities straight." "Now let me tell you one
last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out
for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the
container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday then I have
been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use
is a little more time." "It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you
spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again."
You could have heard a pin drop on the
radio when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to
think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and
then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club
newsletter. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a
kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."
"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a
Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store
while we're out? I need to buy some marbles."
Top of Page
If We Were Just a Village
If we could
shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100
people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same,
would look something like the following: there would be:
14 from the western hemisphere, both
north and south
52 would be female
48 would be
70 would be nonwhite
30 would be white
70 would be
30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual
6 people would possess 59% of the entire
6 would be from the United States.
live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death
be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
would own a computer
1 unemployed for over 6 months
written in 2009! 1% unemployment?)
considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for
acceptance, understanding, and education becomes glaringly apparent.
The following is also something to ponder. If you woke up
this morning with more health than illness...you are more blessed
than the million who will not survive this week.
If you woke
up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed
than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have
never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of
imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation you
are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you can
attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture,
or death...you are more blessed than three billion people in the
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on
your back, a roof over-head and a place to sleep... you are richer
than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in
your wallet and spare change in a dish someplace ... you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If your parents are still
alive and still married...you are very rare.
billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Top of Page
I N S
T R U C T I O N S F O R L I F E
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Memorize your favorite poem.
3. Don't believe all you hear,
spend all you have, or loaf all you want.
4. When you say, "I
love you," mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the
person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you
7. Believe in love at first sight.
laugh at anyone's dreams.
don't have dreams don't have much.
9. Love deeply and
passionately. You may get hurt, but it's the only way
to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight
fairly. No name-calling.
11. Don't judge people by their
relatives, or by the life they were born into.
12. Teach yourself
to speak slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a
question you don't want to answer, smile
and ask, "Why
do you want to know?"
14. Take into account that great love and
great achievements involve
15. Call your
16. Say, "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Follow the three R's:
Respect for self, Respect for others,
all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take
immediate steps to
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it
in your voice.
22. Marry a person you love to talk to. As you get
conversational skills will be even more
23. Spend some time alone.
24. Open your arms to
change but don't let go of your values.
25. Remember that silence
is sometimes the best answer.
26. Read more books. Television is
27. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get
older and think
back, you'll be able to enjoy it a
28. Trust in God but lock your car.
29. A loving
atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your
Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current
situation. Don't bring up the past.
31. Don't just listen to
what someone is saying. Listen to why they
32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
33. Be gentle with the earth.
34. Pray or meditate. There's
immeasurable power in it.
35. Never interrupt when you are being
36. Mind your own business.
37. Don't trust anyone
who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss.
38. Once a year, go
someplace you've never been before.
39. If you make a lot of
money, put it to use helping others while you are
living. It is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
40. Remember that
not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful
stroke of luck.
41. Learn the rules so you know how to break them
42. Remember that the best relationship is one in which
or each other exceeds your need for each
43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order
to get it.
44. Live with the knowledge that your character is
45. Approach love and cooking with reckless
Top of Page
RULES FOR BEING HUMAN
will receive one body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be
yours for the entire period this time around.
2. You will
learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time information school
called Life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity
to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think they are
irrelevant or stupid.
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of
trial and error, or experimentation. The failed experiments are as
much of the process as the experiment that ultimately works.
4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented
to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have
learned it, you can then go to the next lesson.
does not end. There is no part of Life that does not contain its
lessons. If you are alive there are lessons to be learned.
6. There’s no better than “here”. When you’re “there” has become a
“here” you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look
better than “here”.
7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You
cannot love or hate something unless it reflects to you something
you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your
life is up to you. You have all the resources you need. What you
do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
answers lie inside you. The answers to life’s questions lie inside
you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
is not a fantasy; Life is not a dress rehearsal.
will forget all of this – until reminded.
12. You may still
Top of Page
Twenty Keys to a Happy Life
three people everyday.
2. Watch a sunrise.
3. Be the first to
4. Live beneath your means.
5. Treat everyone as
you want to be treated.
6. Never give up on anybody; miracles
7. Forget the Jones's.
8. Remember someone's name.
9. Pray not for things, but for wisdom and courage.
tough-minded, but tender hearted.
11. Be kinder than you have to
12. Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is
13. Keep your promises.
Learn to show cheerfulness even when you don't feel it.
Remember that overnight success usually takes 15 years.
everything better than you found it.
17. Remember that winners do
what losers don't want to do.
18. When you arrive at your job in
the morning, let the first thing
you say brighten
19. Don't rain on other people's
20. Don't waste an opportunity to tell someone you love
Top of Page
Find Your Life Purpose Through Service
by Angela Perkey
Angela Perkey is the founder of
Students Serve, a national nonprofit that awards service grants to
college students. Visit her website at
www.changetheworldchangeyourlife.com. (from Belief.net website)
10 Ways to Discover Your Life
Purpose in Volunteer Work
Sometimes when we are lost in
the day-to-day activities of life and work, we forget there is a
part of us that wants to serve and make a difference in the world.
The turbulent economy is a good time to reassess your life purpose
and path. It is also a good time to look for ways to express
yourself through service to others. Some people who are out of work
are turning toward volunteer work for new skills, friends, and a way
to do something worthwhile. Many are also finding a renewed purpose
in life. Here are 10 ways that you can discover and live out your
unique life purpose.
Ask Yourself the Big Questions
Most people want to live a life full of meaning that accomplishes a
specific purpose. We want to see that our actions can make a
difference that improves the world and helps other people. This
helps validate our presence on Earth.
However, knowing just what
that purpose is can be a true challenge. This is directly
intertwined with those classic, unrelenting questions: What should I
do with my life? What am I here for? What should I be when I
(finally) grow up? Although the questions are complex, finding the
answers may be surprisingly simple. If you recognize you have a true
desire to serve, volunteer work in the community and a spirit of
giving can lead you to an understanding of what you care about, what
your natural talents are, and what your life purpose is. It can
start you on the path to a new life.
What You're Passionate About
One of the most
important components of
understanding how to live a
purposeful life is uncovering the
issues, people, and needs that
you’re passionate about. What do you
care about? What really matters to
you? Oftentimes these things are
intimately connected with a personal
experience that you have had.
For example, if
your mother died prematurely of lung
cancer, you might be passionate
about finding a cure to this disease
or helping women who are in the
hospital undergoing treatments. If
there were days when your parents
were unsure about how they were
going to buy food, you might be
particularly moved by the plight of
children in danger of going hungry.
The key is to identify the one or
two needs you care about most. Then,
begin volunteering to help solve
Discover Your Natural Gifts
You have been uniquely blessed with
a set of talents and natural gifts.
Some of us are skilled with the
ability to use our minds to solve
complex business problems; others
are gifted with the ability to use
their hands and bodies to make
essential products; others have
exceptional artistic skills. You are
individually equipped with all the
skills you need to make a meaningful
To live your
purpose as fully as possible, use
your natural gifts when you serve
others. If you are a naturally-born
teacher, you could tutor low-income
students who are struggling with
basic reading skills. If you are
good at encouraging people, you
could visit people who are sick or
in nursing homes. If you love to
make jewelry or wood-working crafts,
donate your finished works to people
who couldn’t otherwise afford them.
Define Your Life Goals and Ambitions
What do you want
out of life? Understanding what
motivates you is essential to
enacting an intentional life path
that has an impact on others. Define
your goals and long-term ambitions,
then weave these into your volunteer
efforts. The more motivated you are,
the more likely you will devote time
and resources to serving others.
If your life goal
is to open a bakery and you are
passionate about environmental
issues, you can make your signature
chocolate truffle cupcakes and
classic Southern pecan pies for a
fundraiser that will generate money
to solve global warming. Potential
customers will be exposed to the scr
Interact with People Who Care About
the Same Issues
One of the best things about service
is that you get to meet and interact
with people in the community who are
passionate about the same things
that are important to you. These
individuals might be completely
different than you are in terms of
their lifestyle, values, background,
or age, but you will share at least
one core commonality around which
you can unite. By combining your
efforts and joining forces, your
service will make an even larger
Take Joy in Your Abilities
take our natural gifts for granted,
forgetting that these abilities are,
in fact, gifts. Volunteering shows
you the power that you possess to
make a difference. Take the time to
reflect upon and appreciate your
individual talents. Take joy in
these blessings. When you grasp how
much you have been given, you can
begin to envision your capacity to
give even more to others.
Improve Your Skills
One of the
unexpected benefits of volunteering
and serving is that you can refine
and even improve upon your natural
talents. This can help you enact
your life purpose as effectively as
possible, and learning while
volunteering keeps service
For example, if
you are teaching English to
immigrants who primarily speak
Spanish, an added benefit of this
type of service is that you can
improve your Spanish skills and
develop a nuanced understanding of
Hispanic cultures. This insight can
help you form tighter connections
with your "students" and can even be
helpful if you take a trip to one of
their native countries.
Grateful for What You Already Have
Many of us forget
how lucky we are and how much
support we have. Expressing and
feeling gratitude for our material
wealth, community relationships, and
natural talents comes naturally when
When we reach out
to help others, we sometimes realize
how our lives have been blessed.
When you are aware of all the
blessings that you have received,
you can understand your true
capacity to make a difference. Even
if you are not monetarily wealthy,
you have countless resources that
you can actively use to help others.
Don't Be Afraid to Love Others
At the core of
living a purposeful life is loving
others. Whether strangers, friends,
or family members, you have the
ability to change the lives of other
people. By giving to others and
loving them, you genuinely have the
power to change the world.
people who are in the greatest need
are those who are not loved. This
even applies to individuals who are
wealthy. No one can buy love, and
this is the greatest gift that you
can ever give. Simple actions of
service to encourage someone or to
show that you care can have a
significant impact. Even if only one
person is affected, you will be
living your life purpose.
Live with a Spirit of Service and
Purpose Every Day
Service is a
spirit for living in addition to a
set of actions. You live your life
purpose every day. It’s not just
when you are volunteering at church
or the local food bank. It’s every
time you interact with anyone.
Through your actions, your words,
and your smile, you have the
capability to either uplift someone
or put them down.
purposeful lives are built every
moment, not just in isolated times
spent volunteering. Whether it’s at
work, in traffic, in the line at the
grocery store, or at a concert, you
have an opportunity to serve and
change the world. Your efforts don’t
have to be extraordinary, but your
life certainly will be.
Meditation Appears to Cause
Changes in Brain's Gray Matter
Posted on the
01 February 2011 by
Michaelsweiss From Biology
Magazine Forums; MRI
scans show increased volume in parts
of brain linked to empathy,
"A mindfulness meditation training
program can trigger measurable
changes in brain areas associated
with awareness, empathy and sense of
self within eight weeks, a new study
"The meditation group participants
spent an average of 27 minutes a day
doing mindfulness meditation
exercises. The MRI scans taken after
the eight-week program revealed
increased gray matter density in the
hippocampus (important for learning
and memory) and in structures
associated with compassion and
"The investigators also found that
participant-reported reductions in
stress were associated with
decreased gray matter density in the
amygdala, which plays a role in
anxiety and stress."
Link to Full Article
The positive effects of meditation
have been known in the East for
thousands of years, but the practice
only started gaining popularity in
Western society in the mid-20th
century. It wasn't until the 1960's
that researchers began studying the
effects of mediation and learning of
its many benefits. In the last 50
years scientific research has
consistently indicated that the
daily practice of meditation
provides both mental and physical
health benefits. Until recently,
researchers have had a very limited
understanding of how meditation
causes these positive changes.
This article, posted on January 25,
2011 in the health section of U.S.
News and World Report, discusses the
most recent research findings
regarding this age-old practice.
The results of this study(as well as
several others) indicate that the
regular practice of meditation
causes structural changes in the
brain. Increased density in the
gray matter of the hippocampus and
amygdala were observed after only
two months of daily practice.
Neuroscience continues to provide
proof of the brain's amazing
plasticity. Practicing meditation
capitalizes on the brain's capacity
for change, and translates to
signifcant imporvements in daily
life. It is never too late to
Back to Topics
Top of Page