3
BPD Women

Three women share what it is like to have BPD.  

A
Non-BPD

From John Grelek,   "A suggested approach to dealing with agencies who currently do not treat BPD"

1. Do you have a population of clients who seem highly resistant to therapy?
2. Do these clients appear to have difficulty with emotion regulation, distress
    tolerance and interpersonal relationship?
3. Does your staff balk at their assignments to provide counseling to these
    client?
4. I want to show you a skills development programs that was initially designed   
    for female victims of sexual abuse...a program tailored to serve the needs of
    persons dealing with emotion regulation, stress and interpersonal relationship
    issues...a program that is a complement to ongoing therapy and which helps
    reduce therapy resistance, reduces the need for crisis management and
    hospitalization and reduces the stress of therapists treating this population.
5. The Clincher!  I can find you funding for the program. Interested?

A
BPD

I have read countless books and articles about BPD and the various treatments available. This website is very comprehensive to say the least. Sometimes I feel I have a good grasp of the subject and how to work effectively with the BP in my life. Other times, I feel as though I do not have a clue. Much of it depends on how patient I can be at any given moment. Sometimes that can be very difficult considering the other issues I may have to deal with in my personal and professional life. It is impossible to be always be on my A-game when dealing with her and her “borderline moments”. Sometimes, I feel I have to be almost perfect. I recently heard a line in a movie that I think captures the essence of the frustration. One of the characters asks a young girl what her name is. The little girl replies, “No one.” The first character seems puzzled and says, “No one”? The little girl replies, “Yes, because no one is perfect.”

A major thing that I have learned is that if you do something that causes a BP to feel you have wronged them, they will never forget it. No matter how small the perceived wrong may be. They are very unforgiving and can take resentments to their graves. They want to be forgiven, but they are incapable of doing the same.

Many of the sources I have read indicate that mental health professionals believe BPD is treatable. They go on to say that many who go through one of the various treatments are often times no longer categorized as being a BP. What does that mean? That they no longer exhibit five or more of the criteria to be categorized as being BPD? Or, does it mean they don’t exhibit any of the symptoms to a dysfunctional degree? I hope it is the latter.

If the borderline in my life hadn’t opted for treatment (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) five years ago, I feel there is a good chance she would not still be alive. Nor, would we still be together. However, even with DBT and medication, it can still be difficult for her to cope with some on life’s situations. When that happens I often times feel as though I am, as Bob Seger sang, "Running Against the Wind". When those times occur, I try to remember what she has often said to me, “You can escape by going to work or to a movie. I live with being a BPD 24/7/365.” Keeping that in mind is helpful to me. Other times I feel I have nothing left in my bag of tricks (humor is a biggie) to draw from.

In closing I want to commend the creator of this website for creating a source that is useful not only to those suffering from BPD, but also to the non-BP’s who desire to find tools to aid them in their efforts to be supportive of the BP. Thanks to Ms. Allison for all she has done and continues to do to enlighten all of us.

from Linda Richards, "Borderlines are not always self-centered and selfish, but sometimes they do need the opportunity to do the right thing (for themselves)."

from Ann Vogl, "Life as a person with BPD is a life lived in between...in between what you hear in you head and the real world.  Stuck between wanting relationships in your life and pushing people away.  I am set back by the smallest obstacle.  My world is on the fringe."

What Will Not and Does Not Help Me: 
Hospital staff and doctors treating you like an outcast; lack of information for BPD's to read about their illness; people who overreact to a BPD patient's feelings and symptoms instead of just listening and supporting them.

from Jude Rognlien, "The one instance of wrist cutting led to cuts on my torso:  simple lines, cross hatches and carvings - (incl. a fish and 2 howling dogs) - talismans to chase away the demons of a tormented soul." ... " we have found that a neuroleptic and a antidepressant taken together can stop the cutting impulses that come to me."

I really hate it when others know I have an this emotional disorder, and my words/deeds/opinions are dismissed.  I continually feel invalidated because of this.  I am not a person "less than" others.  It is sometimes like I am invisible: half a person.  I try and try to talk to myself about this....to say that this isn't really so.  This sometimes helps.  But sometimes, people are just polite when I speak, nod their heads, then go on talking about something else when I am finished.  Is it me?  Or is it them?  I hate this disorder!